A top of the mornin' to ye, quilters! Yes, it's St. Patty's Day, a perfect day to drive all the snakes from your sewing room and finish that quilt you've been working on. After I finished Star Happy Quilts and got the initial wave of orders out, I feel pretty lazy. I think I'm going to kick back and let you people write most of this month's newsletter.

YES, STAR HAPPY QUILTS IS AVAILABLE
I got an order yesterday from someone who had called her local quilt shop and hadn't been able to find my new book, Star Happy Quilts. Just so you know, the book has been available since February 14. It has been advertised in Quilter's Newsletter Magazine. We've mailed ordering information to 1500 shops in the United States. We've emailed 500 shops. All the distributors have the book. And we've shipped thousands of copies already. If your local shop still doesn't have it, feel free to order from us.

ONE MAN'S QUILT IS ANOTHER MAN'S BLANKET
Boy, did the responses come pouring in when I asked you last month to fill in the blanks for the expression, "One man's ____ is another man's ____." A little backstory might be in order. Steve and I got into a debate one day in the car over how that expression should go. As you can see, we don't waste time wallowing in triviality. We only discuss issues of great import. Anyway, with no resolution in sight, we decided to put it to the ultimate arbiter - you. A vast majority of you said trash and treasure. Significant minorities said junk and treasure or meat and poison. Then there were all these interesting replies:

"One man's trash is another's treasure. For example, I own an 81 Chevy Malibu because I am broke and it runs great - 66,000 original miles - one of those old ladies that only ran to the grocery store. I hate it! But my boyfriend has an acquaintance that keeps asking if I am ready to sell it."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. Don't pay any attention to what anyone else says; mine is the only correct answer. :-)" YOU SOUND LIKE THE SHY, RETIRING TYPE!

"One man's pleasure is another man's pain." SOUNDS LIKE THE MOVIE "QUILLS."

"One man's poison is another man's pleasure." WHO TAKES PLEASURE IN POISON?

"One man's loss is another man's gain."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure......guess whoever said that hasn't seen all the WOMEN at yard sales and thrift shops!" AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH?

"The classic version by (I believe) Ogden Nash: 'One man's Mede is another man's Persian.'"

"One man's meat is another man's poison. (I'm a vegetarian. What's the difference?)"

"The possibilities are limitless:
One man's fabric stash is another man's retirement account.
One man's Monica is another man's Hillary.
One man's parent is another man's child."

"One man's couch is another man's bed.
or
One man's joke is another man's blasphemy.
or
One man's sport is another man's obsession.
or
One man's wife is another man's dinner (Hannibal humor)."

THE FINAL WORD…
I don't even want to inquire as to what's going on in this person's life.

"One man's wife is another man's mistress."

WOULD YOUR HUSBAND DYE FOR YOU?
Apparently Michelle Johnson's husband would and does for her. She has a new quilt shop in Sauk Rapids, Minnesota. Her husband contributes to the shop with a line of hand-dyed fabrics with over 180 colors. If you want to know more about the fabrics, contact Michelle at MMStitches@aol.com. And if you're ever in central Minnesota, drop in and fondle the fabric. The shop is called Bound in Stitches Quilt Village. Speaking of Minnesota….

MORE ABOUT MANLY MEN AND FERTILE WOMEN
I guess the northern Iowa and Minnesota region is a strange place to be a headline writer, as evidenced by these letters:

"I wanted to let you know about my friends (actually ex-cousins-in-law.) Their wedding announcement in the paper read: Manly Woman Marries Fertile Man. He passed away a few years ago, but it still is a great joke."

"Judy -just read your newsletter and to answer your question--yes there has been the headline Manly Man to Wed Fertile Woman. Not being a native Iowan, you might have missed it!!! LOL"

"Up north just a little (OK, Minnesota) we have the towns of Fertile and Climax. Make up your own headline!"

ROLLING, ROLLING, ROLLING
What do you do when you have more quilts than you have beds or walls? Keep them hidden in a closet? Buy more beds? I have a solution I've put to good use and you might want to try, too. I went to the home store and bought several 6-foot and 8-foot wooden curtain rods of 1-1/8-inch diameter. I cut them to fit my quilts. I purchased pairs of finials to go on the ends. I took it all home and rolled up 1 quilt on each pole. Think of rolling up a window blind. Note: It's easier to roll the quilts before adding the finials. To keep the quilts from falling off or unrolling, I tied them with narrow satin ribbons at each end. Then I grouped 3 quilts of compatible colors, stood them up, and leaned each group of 3 in an appropriate corner of the house. This is an inexpensive way to add a splash of color and character to a room without eating up wall space. Best of all it's a way of decorating that speaks to who and what I am - a quilter.

A STUPID AND USELESS CONTEST REVISITED
I got this note from Patti Perkins, one of many winners in my Stupid and Useless Contest: "Thanks for providing a contest I can win!" What was Patti talking about? In case you missed it in January's newsletter, I'll repeat the details here. This is what I wrote:

"I'm making this up as I sit here and type it. You can tell a lot of thought has gone into it. Here's what you have to do: Find the word "jaunty" in Star Happy Quilts. Write to me and tell me what page you found it on. Include in the envelope a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE) so I can send you your prize. That's it. What will the prize be? A scrap of fabric from my own personal stash. I want to clean out my sewing room! There's no guarantee you'll like the fabric. Apparently I've tired of it or I wouldn't be giving it away. You can challenge yourself by trying to include the scrap in your next quilt. Then you can tell all your friends that Judy Martin helped you with the quilt, and in some small way, you won't be fibbing.

"Now for all the disclaimer and technical stuff. This is limited to U.S. addresses. There's a layer of difficulty in sending to foreign addresses, and for a contest this meaningless, it's not worth it. Letters must be postmarked by April 30, 2001. You have to include the proper postage (34 cents) on the return envelope. No purchase necessary, though if you look at the book in a quilt shop just to get the answer, I can't imagine you won't want to purchase it right then and there! No requests for colors. You'll get whatever is on the top of the pile. Finally, this is all for fun. Anyone who takes it too seriously will be banished from the kingdom or sent to bed without supper, whichever is meaner."

MORE ON DICK AND JANE FABRIC
Last month a reader mentioned the Dick and Jane fabric she bought and was saving for the perfect pattern. I suggested a Schoolhouse quilt. A helpful reader offered this very good idea:

"An attic window would be an ideal way to showcase Dick and Jane fabrics. I have them too and found this to be the least traumatic way to cut the fabric. Hopefully my book is in today's mail! I've got to find 'Jaunty.' I love a challenge/game."

SHOW AND TELL
This week I was in Iowa City for a lecture at the guild. I spent the afternoon checking out the quilt shops in nearby Kalona, an Amish community with a grand quilting heritage. At the meeting I had the pleasure of witnessing a first-rate show and tell. I get so revved up when I see quilters making beautiful quilts. Now my engines are running, and I'm making what I think will be my best quilt yet for my next book, Piece 'n' Play Quilts.

A DISPLAY OF MY QUILTS
My local Grinnell guild is having its biennial quilt show on June 15-16. In addition to all the lovely quilts the talented ladies of greater Grinnell will have on display, there will be an exhibit of some of my quilts, too. I don't know how many of my quilts will be shown. I was told possibly as many as 10. It will depend on the number of entries. This will be the first display of my quilts, other than the odd thing here or there, in several years. If you're going to be anywhere near central Iowa in mid-June, plan on stopping by. I don't think I'm being ethnocentric (or Grinnellocentric) when I say that for the size of our community (9,000) and the size of our guild (100 or so), we put on a pretty darn good show. There's a lot of talent here, so come by if you can. For an added treat, I'll be baking my soon-to-be-world-famous cookies for sale in the tearoom. Could this be the start of a new career?!!!

AN ARGUMENT FOR BACKTACKING
This letter raises an interesting question for which I think I have an interesting answer.

"I am busily piecing your Texas Chain quilt for my daughter's graduation gift. The fabrics are all scrappy--even the neutral backgrounds. Each 'ring' of color is one single fabric, but all rings are different fabrics.

"Border question: Is there any other border that you considered for this quilt? Do you think a pieced border like piano keys using 2" x 4" strips would suit this design? Is there any simple border that is eye catching, but with fewer seams, that would work for this wonderful design?

"My greatest concern is about longevity with so many seams--using your lovely pieced border. I really want my daughter to love her special quilt and enjoy using it until she wears it out! With tugging and straightening and washing, I worry about the pieced border being fragile. What do you think?

"I've really enjoyed The Creative Pattern Book and am pleased to have finally gotten to working on one of your quilt designs. A great big 'thank you' for the quilting suggestions for each quilt. I like knowing how you see the quilts being quilted and appreciate having something to work with."

Good question. Regarding your Texas Chain quilt, I have never hesitated to piece borders, and I have never had a border prove too weak for the stresses of use. However, my friend Jean Nolte, who machine quilts on a long arm machine, has had experience with quilts unraveling around the edges simply from the stress of pulling it taut enough to quilt. The difference is that I backtack every seam. I don't strip piece partly because it doesn't permit me to backtack each seam. If you backtack, you shouldn't have a problem with the border as shown. If you prefer, you can add a narrow plain border outside the pieced one. I never considered a different border for the quilt. Depending on value placement, a piano key border could be suitable. I don't think I'd make it too busy (or high contrast) if your quilt center looks busy.

DOING ONE THING RIGHT
I got this letter suggesting I'm keeping the proper perspective on things and helping this reader do the same. That makes me feel good. Here's what she had to say:

"I'm a new subscriber (2nd month) and just love your newsletters. I already knew that you were creative, but now I know that you're funny, too. With all the mistakes I've made quilting, I need to remember that this hobby is supposed to be FUN! Thanks for putting a big dose of fun back into quilting for me."

Remember, quilting's supposed to be fun. If it's not, perhaps you should try golf or gardening or ballroom dancing.

A WORD FROM THE QUEEN
As soon as I sent February's newsletter, I got this note from the ever-effervescent Ami Simms in my emailbox:

"Great newsletter!
Ami :)"

This is like having Penelope Cruz (Did you see her on the cover of Premiere?) tell you you're pretty, or Eric Clapton telling you you can play some pretty mean licks on your Rickenbacker. My newsletters pale compared to hers, but I appreciate the kind thought. By the way, Ami has a new web site. Go take a look. Tell her Penelope sent you.

www.AmiSimms.com

QUILTING SNOBS
Marilyn wrote this long and insightful letter. How many of us can see some part of ourselves in this letter?

"I just had to let you know that yes, I was a quilting snob! I thought that I was too good to sew just blocks and sashes and quilt it. I thought I needed to make an award-wining quilt like the ones on QNM's cover. Boy was I ever wrong! I belong to TreadleOn. It's a group of people that use 'people-powered sewing machines' We are having a block exchange of red and white blocks. I bought my husband a sewing machine for Christmas so he could sew some blocks too! This is the same man who didn't know how to thread a needle 3 months ago. Well, he was looking for a nice, easy but pretty block to do, so I brought out your 'block' books. He poured through them and came up with "The Romantic Age" in The Block Book. The two of us decided on colors, and he cut and I laid out a block on the floor! All that went through my mind is "what a beautiful quilt this would be if...you set it on point and put this color on the sashes and made the half blocks solid and etc. I will never say any quilt is just a block and sash quilt again. I will not be a quilt snob! I would rather have 3 dozen block and sash quilts than 1 quilt that I can't use because it is to 'artsy'

"I love your books so much! They really inspire me to want to sew! I have received your new book. I love it too! I already have one setting picked out that I want to do. Now if I would only quit my job and sew full time, I could use up all of my 'stash' and all of my ideas that you have put in my head.

"P.S. I love your son's block Maybe you two will do a book together? "

COMPARISONS
I know I shouldn't do it, but sometimes I can't help comparing myself or my children to others. I suspect it's natural, and it can certainly be a tool to push one's self to achieve one's best. But it can also be destructive, keeping one from being happy because others are always "better." All that said, I got something in the mail the other day that got me to doing some comparisons, and when I was finished, I felt pretty darn good.

That Patchwork Place, the leading publisher of quilting books, is having a year-long celebration of their 25th anniversary. The letter mentioned their 350 titles have sold more than 10 million copies. That's a lot of quilt books! Since I'm a math person, I did a little division and calculated they have sold about 28,600 copies per title. That's also impressive, as the average book published in America sells fewer than 5,000 copies. What made me feel good is that since we formed Crosley-Griffith Publishing in 1988, our books have averaged more than 60,000 units sold! I'm selling at twice the rate of the industry giant. Now, there are factors that favor each of us in this comparison, but still, it makes me feel like we're doing a good job. And congratulations, Nancy Martin and company for 25 great years at That Patchwork Place.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN MK (MISSIONARY KID) WHEN…
1. You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?"
2. 011 is a familiar area code.
3. People send you used tea bags in the mail.
4. You speak two languages, but can't spell either.
5. You flew before you could walk.
6. The U.S. is a foreign country.
7. You embarrass yourself by asking what swear words mean.
8. You have a passport, but no driver's license.
9. You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.
10. You have a time zone map next to your telephone.
11. You don't know how to play Pac-Man.
12. You consider a city 500 miles away to be "very close."
13. Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.
14. You prefer a Land Rover to a Lexus.
15. You watch nature documentaries, and you think about how good that would be if it were fried.
16. You can cut grass with a machete, but can't start a lawnmower.
17. You go to the U.S., and get sick from a mosquito bite.
18. You send your family peanut butter and Kool-Aid for Christmas.
19. You worry about fitting in, and wear a native wrap around the dorm
20. National Geographic makes you homesick.
21. You have strong opinions about how to cook bugs.
22. You read the international section before the comics.
23. You live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for vacation.
24. You don't know where home is.
25. You do your devotions in another language.
26. You sort your friends by continent.
27. You keep dreaming of a green Christmas.
28. "Where are you from?" has more than one reasonable answer.
29. The nationals say, "Oh, I knew an American once..." and then ask if you know him or her.
30. You aren't terribly surprised when you do.
31. You are grateful for the speed and efficiency of the U.S. Postal Service.
32. You wince when people mispronounce foreign words.
33. You've spoken in dozens of churches, but aren't a pastor.
34. You stockpile mangoes.
35. You know what real coffee tastes like.
36. The majority of your friends never spoke English.
37. Someone brings up the name of a team, and you get the sport wrong.

Copyright Andrew and Deborah Kerr 1996-2000

This is from a book of theirs, You Know You're an MK When…. You can order it online at

http://members.kconline.com/kerr/

The site also has interesting things like 2000 Uses For Peanut Butter. What? You thought there were only a four or five? Begorrah!!!

Until next month…. And keep the snakes out of your sewing room!

Judy O'Martin
http://www.judymartin.com/
info@judymartin.com